


Defiance

by A_True_Shipper



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Cyberpunk-ish?, Dystopia, Imagine the movie Pocahontas on steroids and mixed with 1984, M/M, Science Fiction, Xenophobia, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-24
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 17:29:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9913244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_True_Shipper/pseuds/A_True_Shipper
Summary: In the dark future of 2184, the Commonwealth of Humankind is ruled mercilessly by the mysterious High Chancellor. Life is simple and dull. One false action, word or even thought is a deadly mistake. Everything happens for the greater good, the good of the state.But what happens when people start to do something for their own good, say, fall in love with someone they shouldn't?





	1. Meros

* * *

 

 

* * *

 

The dull hum of the nuclear reactor that powered H.C.S _Pride_ was the only thing standing between Rin and silence. He didn’t really mind though, he was used to it anyway, but it still kind of broke the mood as Rin stared from the grand observation deck’s window to space. In front of him was an orb, floating alone in the vastness of space; the planet Meros they’d been travelling to for a while now.

It was a world filled with a vast, freshwater ocean with hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of small islands dotting the surface in dazzling green and turquoise archipelagos. Long, narrow clouds ever-so-slowly drifted across it’s sky, mainly white in color but with a red tint in them due to the natural chemicals in the atmosphere.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” a voice behind him asked, and Rin almost jumped from the scare. “I’ve seen nicer places.” Rin replied coldly, although not entirely honestly. He turned to look at Captain Grace Ashford, dressed in the deep dark blue uniform of the Commonwealth’s Navy as always and her dark brown hair tied back in a ponytail, partly hidden by her cap. She smiled a little, and stepped as close to the window as Rin was. She didn’t look at Rin as she started speaking.

“Earth is still by far the most beautiful, I agree, but this could make second place easily. Once it’s colonized, I’m sure it’ll develop into a booming vacation resort.” Rin could see that happening; early estimates and drones sent to the planet had revealed that it’s atmosphere was breathable and it’s air pressure levels and gravity, while a bit lower than earth’s, still survivable.

They stared at the mesmerizing planet in silence for a long thirty seconds before Grace spoke again. “We’ll begin landing in three hours, Lieutenant Matsuoka. If you haven’t packed yet, I suggest you do so as soon as possible.” Rin turned to look at her brown eyes, which were staring at him expectantly. He read the atmosphere and saluted lazily to leave before Grace would have one of her signature fits of rage about whatever little thing that was grinding her gears.

Rin walked through the metallic corridors lit by the artificial neon lights above him, and ran into barely anyone since everyone was packing or preparing for planetfall. He knocked on the aluminium door of bunk 556 as a warning to his roommate that he was coming in. Rin then looked up to the retina scanner a bit higher than his head, and didn’t blink until the light on the machine flashed from red to green and the door split into two and slid into the wall to let him in.

His shared bunk turned out to be inhabited by nobody at the moment. Rin’s roommate, Nagisa, was missing. This had become oddly frequent though, and Rin didn’t really feel any worry for the other as he glanced at Nagisa’s haphazardly packed suitcase of his army equipment and personal belongings lying on the cold floor.

Not feeling like snooping on the other’s stuff, Rin threw himself on the top bed and stared at the ceiling since there was no window in their bunk to gaze out of, which was an activity Rin oddly enjoyed. From his and Nagisa’s shared tablet he checked the news, which were skillfully made to not look as censored as they were. Apparently the Commonwealth of Humankind had managed a long list of feats yet again; the hostile xenos of Zergos had been “neutralized” and the planet’s capital colony was growing faster than any predictions had thought possible, a huge new flagship was under construction and Reconquest Day was apparently going to be even more grand than last year.

Nothing out of the ordinary, it seemed.

It was right after reading the news when a knock on the door echoed through the room. Nagisa walked, no, _waltzed_ in with an impossibly large grin for even a person as cheerful as him. “Hi!” Nagisa greeted, taking off his dark blue navy jacket and throwing it lazily to the side, leaving him only in a plain black t-shirt and the standard navy pants.

“Why so enthusiastic?” Rin asked from the top bunk of their bed, and Nagisa was going to say something but seemingly caught himself at the last moment. “Nothing.” He then just muttered, but there was so obviously something he had on his mind. Nagisa sat himself down on the floor next to his open suitcase and started to fold the clothes into neater piles, which made Rin even more suspicious because Nagisa was definitely not someone who’d organize stuff like that more than necessary.

“Come on…” Rin pleaded playfully, propping his head on his hand and staring down on Nagisa. “Nothing’s happening, I’m just excited for Meros.” He continued to deny anything odd going on. Rin rolled his eyes. “I can see your hickeys from here Nagisa.” He then informed, making the other visibly jump. “Huh? I told him to not leave marks!” Nagisa panicked and rushed over to the mirror next to their closets and other storage cabinets, examining himself. To find absolutely none.

“So I lied, but do tell me more…” Rin laughed from the top bunk, and Nagisa turned to him, face red from embarrassment and threw the first thing that he found at the other. Rin dodged the comb easily. “That is a cheap trick, Rin!” Nagisa stated with a bit of anger and crossed his arms at the chest. He really shouldn’t have fallen for that one. Rin moved his legs so they were hanging down from the edge of the bed and looked at Nagisa. “Sorry, but you’ve been acting strange recently so I had to resort to some tricks. Now that it’s official, spit it out; who are you fucking?” Rin asked, and Nagisa would’ve gotten redder if that had been possible. “Rin! No reason to put it so bluntly!”

“But you are still fucking?”

“Rin! Quit it!”

The redhead was laughing his ass off by then, and Nagisa felt absolutely humiliated. At least it was Rin who knew and not his superiors, though...

“We are serious about this.” Nagisa begun with a different kind of tone, making Rin stop his fit. “I really like him.” He continued, playing with the hem of his shirt.

“Nagisa…” Rin started with a worried tone, which the other didn’t want to hear. “I know, I know. No relationships inside the military. But come on Rin! Once the planet is… _cleared_ me and him could start a whole new life, far away from the bureaucrats and the secret police and the Chancellor… Don’t tell me you haven’t fantasized about a life like that.” Nagisa explained, sitting down on the floor since their little room had no table or chairs.

Rin paused for a moment. Of course he had, but not frequently. That kind of a future seemed too happily-ever-after-ly for him, too unreal. The real world was human supremacy, wars of purification and the military. He didn’t want to forget that cold truth.

“Maybe I have. But Nagisa, what if he dies in battle-” Rin begun, but Nagisa didn’t let him continue. “Please don’t remind me. He’s told me enough times.” Rin paused for a moment, then hummed in thought, and then opened his mouth again. “Fine, but who’s he?”

Nagisa played with the hem of his shirt for a little longer before answering. “Rei Ryugazaki.” The name rang no bell for Rin. “Okay then.” He hummed neutrally. “Just Introduce me to him someday, preferably before the inevitable wedding.” He teased, and Nagisa pouted, but couldn’t help but smile a little in relief. He was bad at keeping secrets anyway.

* * *

 

The planetfall was a mess. The first and second landing crafts landed on the agreed site; a large plateau of lavender colored grass. However, the third and fourth landing crafts messed up the deceleration process and end up damaging their landing struts severely, of which Captain Grace was not pleased about. There were also too few tents with them, so even with everyone sleeping like sardines in a tin some had to stay under the stars.

And who better to force to sleep outside than the newbies.

“This is bullshit!” Rin groaned as he looked around the plateau for a good spot to lay down his sleeping bag and stuff. Nagisa followed him closely behind, and rolled his eyes at the other. “What were you expecting from the military? Not like the propaganda in reality.” He then paused after nearly running into Rin’s back as the other in front of him came to a halt.

“Here’s a place.” Rin stated, gesturing at the relatively flat area close to the point where the plateau ended and the beach begun. “It’s got everything; a flat place and soft grass so we don’t have to sleep on these rocks.” He said, pointing at the mattress strapped on his back. Nagisa saw no reason to object, so they set up their little place there and hoped that rain wouldn’t hit that night. Nagisa also wandered off somewhere after they were done, and Rin couldn’t _possibly_ fathom a reason he’d leave.

Rin was then commanded to set up the plasma fences along with other soldiers, so that their settlement was completely walled off from the “xeno threat” apparently waiting somewhere in the jungle surrounding the plateau for a chance to strike them. Rin honestly doubted that whatever life existed on the planet could harm them, but he kept that bit to himself as the higher-ups watched them labour. Not a good idea to defy the system, even if he was far away from Earth and the High Chancellor’s watchful eye.

They worked on the fence and all kinds of small tasks, while the higher-ranked soldiers went to explore the nearby jungle to make sure they really were safe. It was an overall boring evening to Rin. But as the sky started to change into a gorgeous painting of orange and red shades from the massive sun on the horizon, they were called for dinner.

Rin sat down next to Nagisa with his tray of not-so-appealing food consisting of dry crackers probably made from cockroach flour, odd-looking brown and grey soup which tasted like fake meat, steamed peas and carrots and an array of different kinds of pills to “boost combat ability” and “help with xeno diseases”. As usual, Rin picked only the very necessary pills to swallow and wrapped the rest into his napkin. Who knew what they were _really_ for?

“The sunsets here are so amazing!” Nagisa sighed dreamily, admiring the sky and the huge orange ball slowly making it’s way down as he munched on a cracker. “Yeah.” Rin replied, and as he looked at Saruzius B, three times as large as the Earth’s sun, he briefly became the romantic he once had been. He imagined building a cozy home on the shore and watching the incredible sunset every day, swimming to unexplored islands and walking down the endless beaches with someone special.

Three beeps, unmistakable for anything else, were suddenly heard from the large speakers set up at the top of one of the landing craft. It informed everyone of the daily address.

As everyone stood up to listen to the High Chancellor’s daily address, Rin was brought back to the realist mindset he then had been forced to adopt. That home would have 24h camera surveillance, those islands would definitely be explored and “cleansed” of any xeno activity, and that someone special would be conscripted to the army and sent hundreds of lightyears away to fight some pointless war, and probably only return in a coffin.

The broadcast begun as Rin sighed a little sadly.

_Fellow humans,_ said the instantly recognizable strong, stern and cold voice of their overlord.

_Wherever you are at the moment, be it on a starship, a faraway world defending our brothers and sisters from the xeno threat, or admiring the holy Earth itself, you are important. You are part of the chosen, superior race of humankind, free from the ravages of alien civilizations. You are part of the greatest struggle, greatest crusade known to the universe itself. The crusade to manifest our destiny, to bring humankind to it’s rightful place above all other life._

_Sometimes it seems like an impossible goal. Sometimes it all seems pointless._

_But I never see it as that!_

_Because every day, for every loss, there are ten victories and progress. Today, we have begun a new offensive against the menace of the De’La, who we have cornered to their homeworld. I hope to soon report to you our triumph over them and the utter extinction of their entire race!_

The most fanatic, naive members of the military started cheering along the ones too scared to remain quiet. Rin huffed silently in disapproval.

_So, brothers and sisters, lift your head and fight on. Fight for freedom, fight for each other, fight for yourself and your loved ones._

_Raise your hands into the symbol of the Commonwealth!_

Everyone did, and Rin raised his hands into the air, setting them about ten centimeters from his hair. He formed a circle, making his thumbs touch and curving his other fingers so their tips touched as well. His hands hurt from the hard labour of the day, and he turned his head to look at his superiors if they were looking at him suspiciously. Not as if there was a reason, it was purely a habit. Rin opened his mouth a little, anticipating what was coming.

_For Earth!_

_For humankind!_

_FOR THE COMMONWEALTH!_

The Chancellor’s voice drowned underneath a little over two hundred other voices repeating the sentence Rin was just sick of by now.

After dinner and the address which Rin thought more as a reminder of who owned him, he sent a picture of the setting sun to his mother and included a little message that everything was fine and all kinds of other little white lies. It had to get past the censorship system, after all.

Night turned out to be a little bit less dark than on earth thanks to the light reflecting from two large moons that orbited Meros. Rin played some mundane card game with Nagisa, and after three consecutive losses Nagisa had enough and decided that sleep was better than to keep on losing.

Rin closed his eyes soon as well, replaying the day in his head. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened in the predictable life of a military man in the Commonwealth. He fell asleep and dreamt of that odd fantasy life he’d live. A life where his destiny wouldn’t be chosen by the government, where he wouldn’t have to serve in the military, where he could think and act and do what he pleased.

A life with friends and family and that special person the romantic within him always oddly longed for, whether or not their union would be in the benefit of the state or not.

Sleep didn’t keep him for long, and instead forced him out of his dreams with an odd nightmare he couldn’t remember a thing of as he woke up. It was weird waking up like that, heart racing and hands shaking for no reason.

Maybe he should’ve taken some pill after all.

Rin stood up, feeling like he needed a walk to ground himself to reality again. Legs took him next to the ocean, which hadn’t been walled off so heavily as the sides of the settlement that bordered the jungle.

The ocean was absolutely calm that night, reflecting the constellations that Rin had no names for perfectly. It calmed him, and he thought of what the next day would have in store for him.

He’d do little tasks as always.

He’d spend time with Nagisa as always.

He’d listen to the address as always.

He’d kill or harm alien “threats” as always.

And he’d not be happy, but not sad either. Just eerily content with everything.

Such was the mundane life of a person in the Commonwealth, simplified and predictable to guarantee safety. Rin was just about to turn back and go to sleep again when the surface of the water broke.

The dark figure that now stood in the shallow water of the shore had emerged from underwater, and was now seemingly looking at the settlement in confusion.

Rin was supposed to run to his higher-ups and report the occurrence at once, and he almost did before noticing that the figure was very humanlike. Maybe he was a human? And if the figure was, what was he doing here? It was possible that someone from their ranks had chosen to go for a late-night-swim, but then again that would break all kinds of rules…

Curiosity got the best of him, the romantic side of him thirsted for even a little bit of adventure. So, after looking around for a moment for guards, he jumped over the fence at the lowest point and barely avoided the three-thousand degree plasma beams guarding the settlement. A weird feeling overtook him the moment he was out of bounds, somewhere the High Chancellor didn’t want him.

It was a freeing experience.

Rin slowly walked the twentysomething meters to the shore, keeping his eyes fixed on the figure. He had his handgun with him to offer some protection if whatever he was facing was indeed dangerous, but as he got up close he didn’t find a reason to pull it out.

The stranger, who had now backed a few steps in fear, was dressed only in shorts and was otherwise naked. His body was definitely human, only oddities being blue eyes that glowed in the dark and skin that faded from pale beige to light blue in the extremities of his body. Rin stopped himself maybe two or so meters from the figure, keeping his right hand close to his pocket and the gun there.

“Hello?” Rin then tried to say, but the other didn’t seem to understand, and only took a few steps back. “Hi?” Rin then tried in the only other language he knew; japanese. He rarely spoke it, since the Commonwealth’s only official language was english and usage of other languages was banned in public, but the other seemed to understand nevertheless. “Why are you here?” The figure spoke coldly but with very fluent japanese, probably making him a native speaker and making things even odder for Rin.

“We’re here to colonize this world. I’m with the Commonwealth.” Rin explained, and made his hands into the symbol of the Commonwealth which was known and feared by just about everyone and anything in the galaxy by now. The stranger tilted his head to the side in confusion, and Rin lowered his hands in astonishment. Did he _actually_ not know what he meant?

“Who are you?” Rin asked, and the other seemed to debate answering for a while. “Haru.” The stranger answered, and Rin nodded slowly. “I’m Rin. But if you’re human, why aren’t you with us? Are you a rebel of some sort?”

Haru seemed overwhelmed with the questions. “What’s the Commonwealth? What do you want?” Rin was baffled. So there really was a corner in the galaxy where the tyrannic regime wasn’t known yet…

“It’s a long story.” Rin answered truthfully, not knowing if he had time to explain the history, or if he even should be telling it. Every second outside the settlement was a gamble. Haru seemed curious though, and stepped a few steps closer. “Tell me. I want to know. I need to know.” He demanded bluntly, blue eyes fixed on the other’s in an expecting way.

“Fine, I’ll give it to you shortly. But you’ll have to tell me what you’re here afterwards, and nobody will ever hear _a word_ about this.  Deal?” Rin offered, and raised his right hand to shake hands on it. Haru eyed him wearily for a while, but eventually his cold hand met Rin’s warm hand and they shook them lightly.

“Deal.”

Rin took a few steps back and sat down in the sand, although not sure if it was a good idea because he could already feel the fine sand dirtying his clothes and creeping in from every small opening in his outfit.

Haru blinked, but sat down on his knees in the point where the water would just and just, every now and then, reach. Overall, they were quite close as Rin cleared his throat.

“So, thirtysomething years ago, humans had expanded into all the neighbouring star systems from Earth.” Rin explained. “We were befriending aliens, expanding, making breakthroughs in science. People often call it the golden age of humankind or something. But over time, we became less united. Nations and private organizations and countries started colonizing planets themselves and doing what they wanted with the people there and the alien life.” Rin explained, and kept his eyes locked on Haru’s glowing ones. “But then things… apparently got out of control. Scientists started to genetically engineer people to their wishes and experiments, the United Nations grew corrupt and elitist, aliens were messing up things… It was one hell of a mess, if you get what I mean.” Rin said.

“In the darkest hour, just about all of Earth’s colonies became rebellious and Earth itself fell into massive war and chaos for years and years, and I’ve heard stories that some alien race tried to invade it at some point.” Rin continued, and Haru listened to every word with fascination.

“But then came the Commonwealth.” Rin stated epicly, drawing a circle with a C in it to the sand. “It was a movement to restore order and peace, or some other bullshit like that. Anyways, it brought Earth under one banner again and placed all power to one, incorruptible protector of humankind. A brutal, fascist dictator in less politically correct terms.” Rin said, feeling a thrill that disobedience brought. He wasn’t supposed to even know or think of terms like that, yet alone say them out loud.

“And so we conquered everything in our way. Killed and enslaved all alien life which was considered a threat to us. Hell, we even killed off all the humans that had been genetically augmented in major ways, and enforced strict laws on the technology. Most people say we _cleansed the human race_ , but I wouldn’t exactly use those words.”

Haru’s eyes were wide from fear at that point, and he backed off. Rin only then realized what a horrible person he must now think Rin was. “How… how could you do that?” Haru asked with a trembling voice he didn’t quite manage to hide. “I don’t know.” Rin replied, lowering his eyes in shame. “I try not to think about it. After all, there’s not many good thing coming to people who defy the system.”

Haru tried his very best to process all the new information that had just been revealed to him, but failed. These people were here to conquer and probably kill them. Rin was too, his kind facade was a lie. He should run away, alarm the others, forget all this new information.

But there was just something in the odd way that Rin looked at him as he lifted his gaze again that made him stay, to defy logical action. “Now tell me why you’re here. We were told that this planet was untouched. Who are you? Are you even human?”

Haru played with the sand for a bit, drawing little nothings in it only for them to be washed away by the merciless ocean.

“The eldest know something, I’m sure, but they don’t want to tell us. All I know is that we’re people who were meant for this planet, whatever that means anyway.” Haru started, and as he seemed reluctant to continue, Rin decided to ask questions to keep the ball rolling. Now it was he who was interested; the news and libraries and other sources of information he had access to were all modified greatly by the government.

“So, how many of you are there?” Haru shrugged. “Maybe 340. I’m not responsible for keeping track.”

_340?!_ Rin’s mind screamed. There were this many people already here? It was a threat to the Commonwealth now, maybe they’d have to… _neutralize_ them at some point.

He had, of course, suspected such from the start. But as he looked at those blue eyes he suddenly felt something forbidden; empathy for the impures. But before he could ask all the millions of questions, he heard some shouts from the camp, and they both jolted.

“I think there’s something going on, I should go back.” Rin said and stood abruptly, Haru hastily following him up. The stranger to Rin laid his cold hand on the other’s shoulder. “I have more questions. Stay.” He demanded, and Rin would’ve had more too but he didn’t want to get caught like this. “Tomorrow night… at those rocks.” Rin then offered, and pointed at a cluster of rocks further from their settlement. His heart was pounding so fast. Could he actually get away with breaking every rule of the Commonwealth? Would he even be able to sneak out tomorrow? Was this stranger worth such a risk?

“Fine.” Haru agreed, keeping his cold eyes fixed on Rin’s. “Bye…” Rin said to the stranger, who wasn’t so strange anymore, before turning his back to run off. Haru stood there, unmoving for a while and watched Rin jump over the fence. Only then, for a reason he couldn’t quite comprehend, did he mutter “bye” to the wind and turn back to the water.

Rin sneaked past tents and sleeping soldiers and saw three people arguing behind a corner. He sneaked around the settlement, deciding to not stay and listen what the people were up to, until he found his spot with Nagisa again. He didn’t understand how the guards could be so blind; maybe they were distracted by the fight, but ultimately he decided not to question his luck. So, he laid down on his mattress again, uncomfortable due to all the thing that had just happened. And as he started at the beautiful night sky of unknown stars and two moons; one white and one a little blue, he realized that a choice had been made. Specifically, _he_ had just made a choice and knew that he was getting involved in something regrettable, something that would probably end badly for everyone.

But then, a shooting star trailed the night sky, and Rin decided to make a wish. A wish that for just this once, maybe this could end well. He closed his eyes and moved around in his sleeping bag to get to a comfier position, a little sad he couldn’t actually bring himself to believe in such a childish wish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, that's it for our first chapter. Please tell me honestly what I've done well and what badly, it really helps. And if you're really interested, I would like a beta reader. The cover image is from NASA, with some amateur photo editing by me to make it a bit more "otherworldly."  
> Thanks for reading this, and stay tuned if you're interested.


	2. Risks

The morning wasn’t all that great for Nagisa.

Sure, it was still a cloudless day and the sun was shining incredibly brightly, but the atmosphere was off from the very moment he stood up. Rin was nearly silent and kept spacing out, and there were odd whispers around camp. Rei didn’t show up for breakfast. As they ate porridge to start the day, Nagisa felt to in the dark that he had to start asking questions.

“You’re being quiet Rin.” Nagisa started, offering him a chance to talk. The other didn’t bother replying, only taking a spoonful of the runny meal. “C’mon, after what I told you yesterday it’s only fair you tell me.” He pleaded. Rin raised his eyes to look at the other threateningly, like he was telling him to shut up.

Nagisa sighed and decided to drop the matter. They’d been friends for long enough for Nagisa to learn when to give up. And he would find out eventually.

“Attention!” Grace’s voice shook their settlement, and everyone stood up dutifully, some people exchanging glances as if they had been expecting this to happen. _‘Great, one of her fits?’_ Nagisa thought, standing up and fixing his uniform, which was far too hot for the tropical environment of Meros.

“Last night, the security of our settlement was jeopardized.” Grace started. Nagisa looked at Rin, who seemed oddly tense. Did he have something to do with this? “A scientist here with us wanted to study a reptilian creature native to this world, and disobeyed all rules by bringing that creature into the bounds of our settlement without my permission.” Nagisa tensed, but Rin seemed oddly relieved, letting out a sigh. A few boos echoed from somewhere. “The guardians of our freedom on duty at that time intervened before any major damage could happen. The creature was neutralized.”

A lot of whispering started as Grace paused for a moment. Nagisa looked Rin’s way again, hoping he could tell him more. The redhead didn’t even do as much as to look his way. And then Nagisa saw him being marched forward by two guards, and breathing was impossible as an invisible hand of concern grabbed him by the throat.

“Rei Ryugazaki, would you please explain what you are guilty of and what you will be punished by?” Grace asked, and everything was so, so wrong to Nagisa. Not him, anyone else but him… This had to be a dream, a nightmare.

Rei coughed a few times to clear his throat until he spoke with a voice as steady as he could possibly manage at that point. Which wasn’t such a stable voice at all. “I am guilty of putting all of you at risk by unauthorized meddling with the xenos.” He breathed, looking for Nagisa in the crowd with his eyes in desperation to find something to comfort him. “However, I am grateful for the forgiveness of our Commonwealth, which I will earn after... ten electric shocks.” He finished, struggling with the number and glancing down nervously to not draw suspicion that he was looking for someone in the crowd.

The world was spinning around Nagisa as Rei put on the black collar offered to him willingly and took the little controller from Grace, who looked like she would’ve rather shocked Rei with her own hands. ‘ _Ten?’_ His thoughts raced, he could feel his heartbeat climb and his breathing slowly return to shallow inhales and exhales. This wasn’t normal, usually they wouldn’t punish people so harshly. Why was this happening now, out of the blue?

Nagisa had seen this so many times; the people who disobeyed the rules punished themselves, that was the terrifying beauty. As the higher up’s and guards stepped back, they washed their hands and were free of all guilt, placing Rei as the only one at any fault. He gritted his teeth at that. However, no matter how many times he would’ve seen this, he doubted he could’ve ever prepared for _this_.

Rei stood still for a while before pressing the red button on the controller once, not wasting time. He visibly shook from the shock, knees bucking a little and his hands flying to his neck instinctively, but he still managed to stay upright. He pressed it another time, triggering a similar reaction, and Nagisa could see a drop of blood trail from his mouth. Rei had probably bit his lip to not scream.

And so it continued to unfold there, right in front of Nagisa’s eyes. He stood there, helplessly watching from the sidelines as Rei kept torturing himself, drowning in emotions. Rei was about halfway when his legs finally gave way and he toppled to his knees. Tears were at the corner of his widened eyes, and Nagisa’s as well.

His thoughts were distorted from the anger he felt at the injustice. Why Rei? Was Grace punishing everyone so harshly now, or was Rei getting special treatment?

Rei bit his lip and pressed the button once more, disregarding his logical thoughts telling him not to.

As Rei groaned in agony at the sixth shock, Nagisa took a small step forward out of instinct, drawing a few looks. He was going to make someone pay for this _dearly_ , he needed to get that collar off Rei that instant. His eyebrows shifted from the anger he was feeling, he could almost feel the adrenaline pumping in his veins, preparing him for attack. He had to do this. Nagisa couldn’t watch this, couldn’t just let this slip...

An elbow hit his side violently from his left, breaking his thought process. Nagisa moved his flaming eyes from his poor boyfriend to Rin’s warning red eyes, which weren’t quite entirely void of empathy. “Don’t start a show, you’ll suffer even more.” He whispered so quietly it was more like he’d mouthed it. Nagisa felt like slapping him in the face and doing whatever he was about to do anyway. How could Rin be so heartless?

But there was some truth in those words. A lot of truth, that was. It was absolute agony to watch without taking action, but Nagisa kept telling himself that things would only get worse if he didn’t do as told, and that justice would eventually come. That he hoped, at least.

The seventh, eighth and ninth shocks went by, Nagisa closing his eyes every now and then and trying to go somewhere else, _anywhere_ else in his thoughts. When Rei pressed the button one more time, he unwillingly let out a scream of pain and fell to the ground on his back.

Nagisa found himself holding his breath as Grace stepped forward expectantly. Nagisa was so, so close to crying and wanted everything to be over already so he could get out of this horrible situation, unconsciously biting his inner lips to do something. That was when Rei opened his eyes and looked at the other through his dirty glasses for a split second, forcing a brave smile. Nagisa tried to bring himself to smile encouragingly as well, but failed miserably to bring his lips upwards even a little bit. Rei didn’t see his failure though; he sat up almost straight again, before hobbling back to his feet. He snapped off the collar, which would’ve been strangely easy to take off at any time, and gave it to Grace along with the controller.

“Thank you.” Rei said with faked genuineness and a bow to Grace, and Nagisa finally felt the tears break loose as his anger melted into sadness. Thankfully nobody looked at his breakdown as Grace left, and the commotion was declared over. Rei followed the higher-ups to who-knew-where, and Nagisa turned around to run to a portable bathroom to hide himself and his feelings, not caring of people saw him or not.

Rin watched the other disappear, and was torn about what he should do. He felt like following Nagisa and trying to be of help, but then again what could he possibly do or say that would help? Rei was the person Nagisa wanted, not Rin. With that though, he stood up and took his and Nagisa’s trays back to the field kitchen they’d set up. On the way there he got a feeling of odd guilt it should’ve been him getting shocked, not Rei. It haunted him, and he wondered how Rei was doing.

After breakfast was work, but Rin was lucky enough not to be assigned to a expeditionary division. Instead, he got to work just outside of their fences cutting down the long trees to offer more visibility and to provide the material needed to build some primitive guard towers.

With a high-power chainsaw the old trees, surprisingly similar to the ones on earth, came down easily and they encountered little xeno life. Rin only saw a bird-like furry creature before it was shot down by a lightweight railgun.

A lot of whispering started as someone else came through the round gate in the plasma fence, and as Rin turned to look that way, he saw Rei walking his way holding an odd metallic toolbox. “Hello.” He greeted politely, laying his toolkit down next to a green-ish tree Rin had just effectively killed. It was like the morning never happened, that there wasn’t any pain, with the exception of the nasty red marks the collar had left on the other’s neck.

“Hi?” Rin greeted in disbelief. Rei looked around, as if to see as they were far away enough from everyone. “Have you seen Nagisa yet?” Rin asked with concern. “If I could I would.” Rei whispered with sadness in his voice as he opened his toolkit. It contained a row of test tubes in the top part held in place by plastic clips and a variety of different tools in the lower part. He took a little chisel, reinforced by industrial diamond, and started shaving off little pieces of the tree’s bark and putting them in a plastic container.

“I wish we wouldn’t have met like this.” Rei then continued. “Yeah, this is pretty fucked up.” Rin agreed, and started tearing off weak branches from the tree to make it easier to be turned into planks. “I don’t actually know… how long have you, y’know, been with Nagisa?” Rin asked, trying to avoid the uncomfortable silence that would have ensued.

“We met two years ago at New Babylon. He was at the spacestation on standby, waiting for orders with his division of rookies. I was studying biology in zero gravity environments, and while we didn’t really start… seeing each other until we met again on this mission, it feels like we’ve known longer than we actually have.” Rei answered with a brave little smile, and then took out a drill from his toolkit, burrowing deep into the tree.

“I see.” Rin mumbled, struggling with a particularly strong branch. “Me and Nagisa were both in New Babylon, strange that we never met before.”

They continued their jobs in tense silence for a while, eyeing at the officer who was watching them work.

“So what really happened last night? I mean Grace gave the general idea, but you know how she gives alternative facts while speaking.” Rin broke the silence, wondering if Rei really had done something that bad. “It was a harmless little red lizard, six legs with feathers at it’s tail. Beautiful! It sneaked in underneath the plasma fence so I didn’t actually bring it in, but I did take a few pictures of it and offered it some crackers. It was fascinating, the way it ate. That’s when the two guards came to look at what was happening.” Rei said, silencing for a moment. It hurt a little to remember. “They killed it _instantly_. It was crushed under a boot and then fired thrice with a portable blaster. Overkill, not even a burnt feather remained. That’s when Grace came to the scene and… you presumably know the rest.”

Rin shook his head in disapproval, mouth open a little bit. Sure, the Commonwealth’s punishments were rough at times, but ten electric shock for feeding a lizard? If Rei got that, what was in store for him if anyone found out of his dealings?

A little chill of terror ran up Rin’s spine at that thought. “They’re really tight about security.” Rei stated, and once he lowered his voice and made eye contact, he continued; “It’s odd.” Rin wondered if he was suggesting something was going on behind the scenes, but he didn’t have time to ask more questions as the officer watching them started patrolling around their worksite, killing the privacy abruptly along with their conversation.

Rei left a bit sooner than Rin, saying he needed to bring the samples to his lab. Rin did his work dutifully (after all, electric shocks weren’t tempting), but his thoughts were elsewhere. He was trying to make sense of everything going on; his strange encounter with Haru and Rei and Nagisa’s secret relationship.

A few times he’d thought the whole encounter had been a dream, but after finding a bit of sand in his pockets and boots, he was convinced that it had really happened. But what he didn’t quite know was how he could ever sneak out a second time, and whether or not it was actually worth it.

Logic would dictate that he should just take Rei’s situation as a warning example and forget about ever meeting Haru. After all, doing as his superiors said was the easiest way.

But did he really want to go the easy way this time? There was so much Haru knew, something so completely different about him…

Just once more, he’d find a chance. And he’d stop after that, absolutely he’d stop.

That was what he kept telling himself.

* * *

Lunch was quiet, the people seemed oddly tense after the harsh punishment given to Rei and most people probably feared a similar fate. Nagisa didn’t join Rin for the meal, and neither did Rei. His only company were a few thoughts about Haru, mostly about what he wanted to ask once they hopefully met again.

As Rin ate his soup in silence, a tent door was opened.

Rei turned his head from the computer screen displaying the DNA structure of the tree’s core to the tent’s door, which was really just a flap with a zipper. He was expecting, _fearing_ his punishment wasn’t over yet. He was quite sure that soon Grace Ashford herself would march in and send him to a labor camp on some faraway planet where sun never set.

This exaggerated nightmare scenario didn’t happen as two magenta eyes met his own and Nagisa sneaked in, zipping down the flap behind him.

Rei stared in shock at Nagisa, who walked slowly across the tent’s haphazardly placed black, self-repairing tarp that served as a floor. Rei’s eyes quickly scanned through his lab tent, and he was glad not find neither of his two colleagues in sight.

Rei stood up from his foldable chair, and Nagisa stopped his walking about a meter from him. His eyes and the skin surrounding them were red from crying and his hair was oddly messy. The normal smile on his face had been replaced by a cold line. Seeing him like that stung Rei in the heart like a dagger.

“I know I shouldn’t be here.” Nagisa acknowledged quietly, a tone different from usual. His voice sounded void, like the voice of a person who had cried so much they no longer had tears left.

“We are both in trouble if they find us here.” Rei continued, although they both knew the risks already. A few heartbeats went by in silence.

Nagisa then closed the distance to wrap his arms around Rei, not sexually but in a comforting embrace, the other doing the same and letting out a sigh of relief.

Neither spoke as they just held each other for a moment as they pondered what they wanted to say.

“I’m sorry.” Rei then whispered to the other’s hair, ashamed. This was his fault after all, his mistake. “So, so sorry. If I hadn’t done something this… this _idiotic,_ you wouldn’t have had to see me like that.” He continued. The punishment itself had been bad, but still bearable. But to cause pain to Nagisa…

Rei felt Nagisa’s right hand move upwards and his left lowering. “It’s allright. Almost, at least. You wouldn’t have done it if you’d known this would happen.” Nagisa reasoned surprisingly accurately to the other’s shirt. He took a step back so their eyes met again for a moment, until two magenta eyes found a red mark left by the collar. And another. And another…

“Do they hurt?” Nagisa asked, lifting a hand to lightly touch them. “No.” Rei lied in response, trying to ease the other’s pain even slightly. “The pain goes away quickly.” He kept making things up, trailing his left hand to Nagisa’s chin. “But what about you? Are you okay? Did Grace ask questions?” Rei asked, worried, while keeping eye contact. Nagisa felt the words getting caught in his throat. “I wasn’t questioned. Not… not yet at least.” He paused. “I’m not fine, but as long as this doesn’t happen anymore… I’ll be a-okay.” Nagisa said, forcing a smile that would’ve come so easily to him just yesterday. “You know that I can’t promise something like that-” Rei started, but Nagisa cut him off by the gesture of lifting his index finger to the other’s lips.

“This won’t happen anymore. I won’t let it happen.” Nagisa stated, trying hopelessly to convince himself this was indeed the truth. Rei contemplated what to answer for a while, until he decided that truth hurt and he lied with Nagisa. “Everything will work out.” He whispered, and cupped Nagisa’s chin. He searched for permission in the other's eyes, and after finding really nothing at all except pain and worry, he decided it was good enough and brought their lips to a light, chaste kiss in promise that they would do everything to to keep things from getting this bad again.

They parted uneventfully, Rei quickly explaining what had _really_ happened and Nagisa cheering him up the best he could in his state. Nobody that would suspect him of something fishy saw Nagisa sneak out of the tent and Rei a bit later, and when they met again at lunch (to which they were almost late for) they pretended like they hadn’t seen each other that day, chatting only very carefully about Rei’s injuries and then about all kinds of small topics.

The work continued for everyone, some setting up more tents which they had received as reinforcements and some assembling the guard towers, which turned out to be quite an effort. Rin was only glad though; if anything would stop his route, it’d be extra visibility for the guards on duty. Some started to clear a large area of vegetation a bit further from their settlement to offer a place for spacecraft to land and take off safely.

The evening came, and so did dinner. Or whatever they were served that resembled dinner.

“The food keeps getting worse.” Was the first thing Rin said to Nagisa after the events of the morning. Sure the food was terrible, but if they hadn’t been under the watchful eye of a dozen officers dining at the same time as them Rin probably would’ve talked about something more serious.

Nagisa realized the threat though, and they continued chatting something completely different from what they were thinking. Rei joined them a bit later, drawing a few looks because the scientist was again eating with the regular soldiers instead of his colleagues. They chatted and ate the fried locusts with odd gravy as much as they could while restraining the urge to vomit. Nagisa wondered if he should bring up Rin’s odd morning mood, but decided against the idea in the end. He didn’t want to break the fragile atmosphere of normality they had built.

As most people had already eaten, one of the officers, Rafael Santiago, grabbed a voice enhancer and climbed atop an empty table so everyone could see him. Grace looked at him coldly, disgusted by the action of standing on a table.

“Attention, everyone. We are to expect a new ship to arrive here at sometime in the evening or at least night. Abroad are military personnel, but the crew is mostly civilian. We are expecting doctors, a few more scientists, architects and supplies to improve our settlement. And best of all, the High Chancellor has accepted our viceroy Grace Ashford’s wise proposal to name this new settlement _Lavender City_ due to the beautiful grass here. That is all.”

A few minutes passed, Rei complaining how “Lavender City” was a non-beautiful plain name for a place that wasn’t even a city, and Nagisa arguing against him. Rin was still zoned out when the High Chancellor’s speech started.

It was the same old, uneventful broadcast not unlike yesterday’s. Rin felt like the wait to get out of the settlement was intolerable. As he walked around during the break after dinner, he looked for a place to sneak out of.

The plasma fences near the beach had been set up as high as the rest (two meters) and the foundations for guard towers were set up in every corner. Maybe if he climbed up them he could get out, but getting in…

No, there had to be another alternative. He walked around the fences, pretending he was admiring the nature and the sunset as he counted guards and marked their location. It was something he never thought he’d end up doing, forbidden and rebellious. Why was meeting Haru so important to him, anyway?

In the end, he couldn’t find good justification for the risk he was about to take. But, he did manage to find a way in and out; a plasma gate that was malfunctioning. It was due to be replaced or fixed tomorrow and it was under the watchful eye of at least one guard at all times, but if Rin merely found a way to distract the guards twice…

Not feeling sleepy at all, he went to bed with a plan in his head that he kept repeating to find some flaws in it. He did find a few at first, and then a great many things that could go wrong in his plan. He closed his eyes in fake sleep after brushing his teeth and saying goodnight to Nagisa. He was practically counting seconds till the moment he had deemed late enough to start his plan.

Two hours passed slower than seemed possible, and Rin almost fell asleep during that time. Luckily, a snoring Nagisa and excitement kept him awake. Finally, as he opened his eyes to check his watch to see the numbers 24:56 (The day on Meros was about one hour longer), he decided it was time to move.

He stood up carefully and grabbed his jacket to shield him from the relative coldth of the night, eyeing his surroundings.

Rin’s and Nagisa’s little place was far from most of the tents and landing craft turned into buildings, which worked to Rin’s advantage as he made his way to the closest construction site of a guard tower. There were only three guards in sight, two at the gate he’d found before (far enough not to hopefully see him) and one currently patrolling at the outdoor cafeteria they had set up.  

Maybe this could work.

Rin crawled in the grass, hoping nobody would look his way. He did stand out quite badly in his deep blue uniform in a background of lavender grass, but fortunately he made it to the northwestern corner of their settlement and the guard tower which was almost done. He’d decided that for his exit, jumping the fence from the guard tower’s almost-finished staircase was the easiest way, and relatively foolproof as well. When it came to coming back though, he wasn’t quite so confident.

He hid behind the pile of planks still missing from the structure, hearing the dangerous hum of the plasma behind and next to him. A few meters back or to his left and he’d be dead or at least hurt with third-degree burns. A sound louder than a whisper and he’d probably be in a similar collar that Rei had worn before the sun would even rise.

Rin was really, really nervous about what he was about to do. His breathing was uneven and he played around with the thought of turning back.

_‘Fuck it.’_ He thought with the lack of anything more inspirational, and started climbing the stairs as quickly as possible, choosing speed over subtlety. Every step rocked the unstable structure and the sounds it made were like thunder in Rin’s ears. He didn’t have time to look if he’d been noticed or not though; his only thoughts were on the jump.

He made it to the end of the unstable wooden staircase which led to a platform about two meters up and was missing parts. The entire structure shook under Rin’s feet, but he’d already chosen. Rin breathed deeply in and out to calm himself, and then took the leap of faith.

The structure tilted violently in the other direction as Rin jumped as far as he could. He thought for a second he was going to hit the plasma beams and experience a quick death, but he managed to avoid them just barely as he landed violently on the other side in some bushes with large blue flowers.

Luckily, the guard tower foundation didn’t collapse and Rin hadn’t broken anything in his fall. The bush had some spikes next to the flowers though, which did give Rin a few scratches, but overall the first part of his plan had succeeded.

He crawled deeper into the woods they hadn’t had time to clear yet, and stood up as he decided nobody could see him. No yells or panicked sounds came from Lavender City, and Rin let out a relieved sigh of victory and his lips turned into a smile. He even chuckled a little as his enormous stress and anxiousness relieved instantly. He’d made it out, and he’d see Haru soon.

His steps were oddly light as he made his way to the rocks.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there's another one. I'll try my damn hardest to keep uploading every or every other Friday.  
> The cover picture was a bit too sad (It's Nagisa watching Rei getting shocked, if you were wondering), I mean this chapter was a little dark but geez, the black and white might've been too extra. It's of course from Free! with my additions.  
> I hope you like where this is going, and tell me what you think.  
> (Still looking for that beta)


	3. Questions

* * *

Rin saw nobody at first. It was just him, the wind lightly ruffling the group of trees he’d emerged from and two moons that were watching his every move. A feeling of anxiousness swallowed him whole. Maybe Haru wouldn’t come, all his planning was useless after all. Maybe it had really just been a dream, and he was here alone.

But as he took a few more careful steps forward in the fine sand, he saw Haru sitting on a small rock, gazing towards the ocean serenely. Rin stopped and stood there for a moment, taking his time to fully realize that the unreal encounter of yesterday was going to be repeated and that yesterday hadn’t been a dream. A little spark of anxiousness and joy came from that thought.

“Hi.” Rin greeted, remembering at the last moment to switch to japanese. Haru swung his head to the direction of the sound, maybe a little surprised, and raised his hand in a small, silent wave. Rin sat down on another large rock facing Haru. How was he supposed to start a conversation like this? He had focused too heavily on actually getting there than on what to talk with the stranger.

A little gust of cold wind played with their hair during the tranquil moment they wondered what to say.

“Have you been here for long?” Rin asked awkwardly, trying to break the ice, and Haru shrugged. “A while.” The redhead let out an apologetic sigh. “Sorry. It was kinda hard to sneak out here.” Rin’s throat burned with unanswered questions and he felt like knowing all about this stranger he’d just met yesterday. Haru was surreal, someone he was never supposed to talk to or even know the name of, banned in every rule of the book and despised in all corners of society.

But his fear of the Commonwealth’s wrath and Haru’s secrets didn’t even come close to outweighing the feeling of curiosity and adventure he got from the meeting, and the potential information he’d get. Besides, it was far too late to get cold feet.

“So I told you a lot about the Commonwealth yesterday…” Rin begun, drawing Haru’s attention. “Maybe even scared you a little, but you didn’t really say much about your home.” Haru drew a few circles in the sand with his toes as he pondered what to tell him. How much information was too much? “I guess it’s a pretty normal place.” He then mumbled, not answering Rin’s question. “C’mon, give me at least a few more details! No need to tell the exact location and stuff like that, just in general.” Rin begged, and Haru hummed in reluctant agreement. _He_ , the one who’d been trapped on a remote planet all his life with nearly no knowledge of the world beyond it, would’ve wanted to be the one asking questions from Rin, not the other way round. “We call the place Iwatobi, it’s a little town on a low cliff right next to the ocean. It’s not very amazing, but everyone at least has a home to live in. And at the very center of our town are all the necessities and such.”

“Like?” Rin asked, dying to know more about this odd village not built with functional, efficient architecture like was the Commonwealth’s style.

“A little market where we trade, a school, a hospital of sorts with a well next to it to put out fires, all that boring stuff. There’s a pretty big shrine there too.” Haru listed with little interest. 

“A shrine?” Rin asked in confusion. “Yeah, don’t tell me you don’t know what that is. It’s devoted to the god Inari.” Haru explained, curious about Rin’s reaction to the shrine. “You mean, you actually waste time and offerings to nonsense like that?” Rin asked with a disbelieving look, which angered Haru just slightly. “Look, it’s not like we’re fanatical about it. It’s just a tradition the oldest of our village want to keep.” Rin couldn’t but giggle, thinking it was kind of a cute tradition, but a total waste of resources. As if religion wasn’t banned already in the Commonwealth, he’d never experienced any sort of spiritual miracle to make him believe in anything. No, quite the opposite. To Rin, the universe was cold and empty, and he’d learned the hard way that there was nothing divine out there to grant it any meaning or depth, no matter how much the romantic within him would’ve wanted there to be.

“So you don’t worship anything?” Haru asked, and Rin quickly shook his head. “I mean, most cities have a Commonwealth Hall, where people gather to listen the Chancellor’s daily address, all the things we’ve recently achieved and stories of Earth. I think that’s a bit similar.” The redhead explained.

“So... you worship the government?” Haru reasoned, and Rin shrugged. “I guess you could say that, in a way.”

A little silence ensued, Rin glancing around to check there was nobody in sight and had a look at his watch, which Haru looked at intensely. “What, never seen a watch?” Rin asked, a little mockingly even though he didn’t mean it to come out like that. “No, your arm…” Haru corrected, and suddenly grabbed Rin’s right arm. “It’s odd. Why’s there no color here?” He asked, poking Rin’s arm and trying to look at it from all angles like Rin was a test subject. “Oi, cut it. That’s weird!” Rin said scandalously, and pulled his hand back. Was touching like that more acceptable in Haru’s village, or was he just odd?

“Answer the question.” Haru demanded nonchalantly, and Rin just shook his head to tell him that there really was no reason. “I was born like that. None of the people I know have skin like yours, that they would switch color at the extremities. How about you, is there something different about that part of your skin? Rin asked, as he'd never seen anything remotely like it. What was Haru, anyway?

“Nothing weird about them. Everyone’s skin fades to a color, but it’s not always blue. It usually matches the eye color of the person.” Haru explained. “And speaking of eyes, what about yours?” Rin asked, making eye contact. “Why do they glow?” 

Red eyes and blue glowing ones stared at each other for a while, until the blue ones looked away in a little twinge of disappointment. “I don’t know. They just do that in the dark.” Haru said, gazing at his reflection from the calm ocean, pondering about his eyes which glowed dimly at him.

His reflection was broken by a breeze of cold wind that caused small ripples in the surface, and Haru sighed a little. It’d be hard to get home if it started to get windy.

Rin turned to look at his distorted reflection from the water as well, and in the odd mess of light beige and red he thought he saw his father for a moment. He had only unclear memories of him as a child, but he remembered the one picture he had of him as clearly as day. He looked a little similar to his father, with the unnaturally red hair and eyes and sharper than average teeth. These similarities were something which her mother always reminded him about, whenever rarely they met, that was.

“Do you have a family?” Rin asked as he thought of his mother, and threw a little pebble to the water to shatter the already distorted face for good. He was unsure if Haru would answer the suddenly quite personal question, but he did. “A mother and father. They aren’t home that often though, mom works at the hospital for long shifts since we don’t have many nurses, and dad goes on trips many days at a time to find useful stuff for the town. But we do try to be home all at once at least once a week to eat dinner together, so I guess that’s something.” Haru answered, and looked Rin’s way in a silent plea for him to answer the question as well.

“Lucky you.” Rin answered, a little more bitterly than he’d intended. “I have a mother and a sister. My father died in some war when I was really young.” He said, and Haru mumbled something along the lines of “sorry to hear that”. “Mom works on a asteroid mining station lightyears away, and I think my sister is just about to finish the mandatory two-year military training. But unlike you, we only see like-” Rin paused to try and recall the last time they met. “once every one or two years?” He admitted, memorizing the unfrogettable three days they’d spent together a few years back during the time of Reconquest Day and feeling a little sad he wouldn’t be able to travel home that year. Again.

“That must be hard.” Haru empathized, only then thinking that maybe his parent’s lack of absence wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. “Yeah, but it’s pretty common. You see, there are actually very, very few planets and places hospitable to humans than what people used to think back in the day. The Commonwealth might look big if shown on a map, but we only own about 5 000 colonized worlds and a ton of nothing in between. Workers and soldiers are in constant demand in every corner, so families tend to be broken apart like mine.” Rin explained, unfazed by what he’d said. But unlike to Rin, to Haru this was no common knowledge. 

“5 000?! How is that a small amount at all?” Haru said in disbelief, and looked at the night sky in awe. He knew that the universe was massive, but the more he thought about it the harder did that truth hit. This planet he’d been isolated on for all his twenty years of existence was a tiny drop in a gargantuous ocean, and even a thought about his own insignificance hurt. 

“It does make you think about what you can possibly change in all that vastness as a powerless individual, if anything at all.” Rin agreed, sighing and turning his head to the stars like Haru. They sat there for a while, looking at the stars in awe and fear. Haru was deep down amazed how Rin and him, despite being vastly different in every way, could still both have such similar thoughts about their place in the world.

A shiver of coldth that ran through Haru’s body snapped him from his dreaming, and Rin looked at him in concern as another gust of cold wind blew past them. Haru rubbed his hands together to warm himself up. It wasn’t that cold, but shorts weren’t the warmest thing to wear and he’d been there for a while already. “Oh, you must be cold dressed in so little. Have this.” Rin guessed out loud, and then unzipped his dark blue jacket to hand it to Haru. “It’s sort of my fault you had to wait in the cold like this for so long anyway.” Rin said, and after a disbelieving look from Haru clearly asking if this was really okay, the other slipped it on. It was quite an uncomfortable jacket since it was mass-produced as cheaply as possible, but Haru still felt a lot warmer wearing it. The not-bad, not-pleasant smell of Rin’s sweat clung to the jacket, but Haru said nothing about it. 

“Thank you.” Haru whispered. “But this doesn’t make any sense.  _ You _ don’t make any sense.” The blue-eyed boy continued, making Rin raise his right eyebrow in confusion. “How come?”

Haru sighed. “Well, yesterday you explained how your job here is to kill people like me and destroy everything that doesn’t suit you. I sort of thought that you might, y’know, end me today or something after luring all this information out of me.” Haru admitted, a little shamefully, and shocking Rin. He’d really seemed like a bad person, hadn’t he… “But you apologized for being late, keep answering my questions and… now this.” Haru explained his confusion, lightly tugging the hem of Rin’s jacket that he was now wearing to better explain. 

“Well…” Rin started, unsure what to answer. “I don’t know. It’s just that… I’ve always wanted to know life beyond the Commonwealth.” Haru hummed in thought. “So you’re nice to me because I’m information?” Rin violently shook his head. “No, don’t twist my words! It’s partly that, I’ll admit it. But you genuinely seem like a nice person, someone I’d like to know better.” He blurted without really thinking, and Haru was taken aback. A nice person? Him?

...This Rin really made no sense whatsoever...

“Okay.” Haru muttered in response to the other, who looked like he was slightly regretting his choice of words.. “You don’t seem like a bad person either, even though your state is. I made some assumptions about you because of it, maybe a bit too soon. Sorry.” Haru found himself blabbering, and Rin nodded. “No need to apologize. But I should head back, I’m still not quite sure how to get back into our settlement…”

“Will we meet again?” Haru asked Rin, and suddenly felt like not letting him go anywhere. They’d barely had time to talk, and Haru wanted to know all about Rin and everything he knew, not a totally unreasonable request considering how little information Haru had access to. “I don’t know, as the settlement grows so do the security measures.” Hell, he wasn’t sure how to get back to his place in a few minutes, not to mention once guard towers and tighter security would be implemented. “So… this might be it?” Haru asked, and Rin nodded a little in disappointment, which he had promised himself not to feel. This was going to be the last time they met, after all. “I mean I might be able to sneak out sometimes, when the chance arrives that is, but how the hell would you know when and where to meet me? I think it’s best to let this go, before something bad happens.” Rin reasoned, and Haru let out a sigh of frustration and sadness. Why would he be given a chance to meet someone so unique like Rin, just so he could disappear right after?

A painful realization came to Haru.

“Then… when we next meet…” Haru’s voice trembled just a bit as he breathed in. “You’ll be armed and pointing a gun at me, right?” Rin’s eyes widened. “No, I won’t tell them about you people. Just… keep low profile or something. I’m sure we can coexist somehow-” 

“I’m sure  _ we  _ could, but what about the others? Your state wouldn’t commit acts like that if the people weren’t willing to go along with them, so I wonder how many of them would ever even consider letting us live.” 

“That’s true…” Rin admitted, mind flashing back to the haunting echoes of hundreds of voices pledging  _ “For the Commonwealth!” _ over and over again. “So just… before that might happen… I want to know more about everything. How about we meet tomorrow, just  _ once  _ more, and then we’ll end this for our own good.” Haru suggested, and Rin bit his lip. Was that doable? He’d promised himself that this was it, that a third meeting with Haru would be the one where he’d get caught. Maybe if he repeated his earlier plan, or sabotaged one of the towers “by accident” or something…

It surprised even him how much he wanted to meet Haru, a stranger he’d met  _ yesterday _ , even though it risked so much. But then again, when would a chance like this ever come again? Twenty-one years in the Commonwealth, listening to the same propaganda and living the same dull life, fighting the same xenos and fulfilling the same duties as always. The suppressed romantic inside him thirsted for something,  _ anything _ that could switch things up. For even an hour of excitement, he was more than ready to sacrifice security.

“Fine. I’ll find a way.” Rin found himself saying determinedly, and he could’ve sworn Haru’s eyes glowed a little brighter as he said that. “Good. Same place, same time?” Haru asked, barely containing his excitement, and Rin nodded. “But if I don’t show up, don’t bother coming here ever again. That means I’ve gotten caught or something. Trying to rescue me or some stupid hero stuff like that will only get you killed as well. So... just hope that I show up.” Rin said, and added a brave smile at the end to make his instructions less depressing. 

“I get it.” Haru replied, clearly focused, and took off the jacket to hand it back to Rin, although he’d loved to inspect it a little further. “We should head home.” The redhead continued, and Haru nodded. 

A little expectant pause ensued as Rin put on his jacket. “Well uh… it was nice to see you again.” Haru started, awkwardly playing with a strand of hair as Rin stood up. “Yeah. See you tomorrow!” Rin said, genuinely smiling at the idea of meeting Haru  _ just _ once more. He waved goodbye and then disappeared back to the bushes he’d come from, thoughts switching to figuring out a way into the settlement.

And then it was just Haru and the nature around him, only light footsteps in the sand proving someone had been there with him. He stood up and pushed the sand around a bit with his bare feet, to make it look like nobody had been there (Rin’s higher-ups sounded like people who would hunt down people based on just footprints, and he was not taking that chance).

He walked to the beach, and stepped into the water like it was second nature to him. It was warmer than the air around him, at least that’s how it felt, and he was soon well underway swimming back home. Swimming calmed him a lot, and Haru was certain he could think much clearer about everything while in the water. He swum in all kinds of ways, sometimes in efficient front crawl and sometimes slow backstroke so he could admire the stars which glimmered brightly, all the while thinking of all the things out there. Just how many of those stars was Commonwealth territory, and how many weren’t? Would he ever get to visit them?

It was a bit of a trip back to Iwatobi, even for someone like Haru who loved swimming, but eventually the sparse lights of the town came into view. He knew where the night watch were located, so he avoided them by taking the furthest route to the top of the cliff possible and sneaked around the town. Not as if he was in that much trouble if he got caught, but it was always easier if nobody knew of his nightly adventures.

Haru skillfully avoided the three people on guard for danger, and made his way to the Nanase household. It was thankfully quite near the edge of their town, so he didn’t have to plan his route that much. He reached his home, made out of the wood nearby that had a white-grey color. It was two stories tall, which was a relatively rare sight in the village, and it featured sliding paper doors, a luxury. Haru’s father had found plants that were suitable for making traditional Washi-paper, although with an odd blue-ish color that refused to leave the paper. Even so, Haru admitted it was a very nice house considering the limitations of the building materials.

Haru slided the paper door of the backyard slowly, and sneaked in after checking nobody was awake to see him. He closed the door behind him, and sneaked past his parent’s room and the living room to get to the staircase. The stairs were the most risky part of his expeditions; they creaked loudly under his feet as he tried to sneak up as stealthily as possible. But he made it to the safety of his room, and after listening tensely for signs of that his parents had been woken, he sighed in exhaustion and relief. Haru dried off with a towel and slipped off his wet shorts. He was at the brink of falling asleep right there and then, but instead he willed himself to stay awake and dig out his journal from underneath his sleeping mattress. 

It was a simple journal, and one could’ve been fooled by it’s boring and scuffed brown covers that it was nothing of value. However, Haru considered his journal/diary hybrid as one of of the most valuable things he owned, and he took great care not to tear the thin pages of the book as he searched the place he’d left off at.

Haru’s journal contained most of his expeditions to the nearby islands, and his sightings there. Fascinated by the unknown world of possibilities and freedom that awaited him far from the stagnant atmosphere of Iwatobi, he had written long plans about the places he eventually wanted to visit. Some of them were manageable, like the mountain island far away, but outer space along with “cities”, large urban centers hundreds of times as big as Iwatobi that the eldest told stories of, were virtually out of his reach. And up until meeting Rin, there had always been an underlying fear of never seeing those places since there was no way to get to them. But with Rin came hope that maybe, if things went right, just maybe he could eventually explore those places. And that, if anything, was an uplifting thought to him.

His hair wasn’t even completely dry as he started writing about the day’s encounter with Rin.

_ Dear journal. _

_ Today, I met Rin again. I had to wait quite a long time at the rocks we agreed on, but I was relieved to see that he made it there safely. Although, as of writing this, I don’t know if he got back OK. I hope he did. _

_ Anyway, we talked about a lot of stuff. It was more like a quiz from both sides rather than a real conversation, but I found out a lot of new things about Rin, and we agreed on one last meeting tomorrow. _

Haru flipped a few pages back to the page he’d made specifically about Rin, which was full to the brim with text and hypotheses about what his words could mean and how they added up. An outsider would’ve considered it creepy, and Haru thought it borderline was that, but then again he knew nobody with history as rich as Rin’s who was willing to share to share their experiences. He started writing down more things.

_ Rin has a family, a sister and a mother who live far away. His father apparently died long ago. Says it’s common from where he comes from, and they don’t seem to believe in gods at all.  _

Haru paused to think of something again.

_ While our skins and eyes are different, there seem to be no major differences between us physically than merely cosmetic factors, at least that I would know of thus far. But, maybe on a mental level, we do have much in common. We had a little moment thinking about how small we were in the grand scale of things, for example. However, there are some things he says that don’t make sense. _

Haru squeezed his pen a little harder as he kept writing.

_ I mean, Rin thinks I’m a nice person based on two short encounters, which is ludicrous. And that he’d say that of… _

Haru decided his journal was going to a bad direction then and there, and he decided to line over that part. Thinking it was the insane tiredness affecting his writing, he yawned and set the book aside with care. The most important stuff was written down, and he’d remember the rest in the morning.

Haru walked over to the little window of his room to look out for a bit. It wasn’t a real window, since it didn’t have glass, but he liked it nevertheless. He looked at the stars in awe, a feeling he couldn’t shake no matter how many times he observed their infinity. Yawning again, he closed the window with it’s paper curtain haphazardly and dived under the covers of his bed. The homemade fabric felt uncomfortable and coarse against his skin, but it was still plenty enough for him to fall asleep almost instantaneously.

And in his well-earned sleep, he explored the places his cold reality didn’t let him to, a thing which was blissful as it happened and a wave of disappointment every time he woke, in a vicious give-and-take way.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not Friday and I'm really, really late with this. Sorry.  
> Feedback is appreciated and I'm still looking for a beta for this fic!


End file.
